Sleepless nights and deep thoughts

My mind drives me crazy
Not literally... yet
I like to learn
I like to understand
So I think
Everything that happened flows through my mind
I notice the little things
The little things that make a huge difference
And it affects me
Negatively affect me
But I can't stop thinking
Drinking

I try to shut it off
I try to distract myself
I create noise
I destroy the silence

but my mind screams above the noise
screams the truth that I don't want to realise  
screams that I have no control

Screams that I was an idiot for not listening

Not listening to my mind