I don't really know why. It's not always about me doing work. Sometimes I just don't sleep. Sometimes my mind just wants to stay up. I would close my eyes and let Netflix run in the background in hopes that I just drift off.
But sometimes I don't.
I have sat up in bed and saw light appearing outside.
The weird thing is I would have energy all day. LITERALLY ALL DAY! When night finally comes again I sometimes go through the same struggle.
Sometimes when I do sleep I get weird dreams. Like WEIRD dreams. I would drift away and a dream I was having months ago that I completely forgot about would just...continue. It's crazy. I do admit that it entertains me but sometimes the dreams left off with me waking up glad that it was all a dream. Now I have to face the consequences for dream Ricky's reckless living.
I had a good night's rest last night. My dream was weird but it was influenced by watching Travelers on Netflix. Great show! Watch it!
Right now I'm in a weird place emotionally. I'm not depressed. I just feel out of body. I feel like I'm not in reality. I feel like everything is a dream. I'm looking at this view that I've grown so accustomed to and it looks... like... something I've seen on TV. I'm not sure how else to explain it.
I have to get ready to go do a job then figure out what the rest of the day is going to be like. I need to do a video for youtube.
I got most of my work done so I should be able to work on that soon. I need to make youtube a priority but now that I have to pay rent, I can't just not do jobs to make that happen. I'll figure it out. I'm Ricky. I always figure things out. I always adapt. Things always work out.