Doubt / by Richardo Hill

Deep thoughts.

Wondering why I do what I do.
Wondering why I try.
Wondering if its even worth it.
Wondering how long it would take before all my work pays off. 

It's hard to believe that I'm not wasting myself sometimes.

Am I delusional? 

I am a pretty confident person, but is that folly? 

I hate doubt but it comes sometimes. Who am I doing this for anymore? Me? Do I even care anymore? 

I was delusional in my previous relationship and look how that turned out. What's to say it won't turn out the same way with my "career" path? 

Should I say how I feel? Who do I talk to? Does anyone care? 

Again, who am I doing this for? I don't remember. I hate not remembering. Why don't I give up? Everyone else gives up on me anyway. 

I hate doubt. Doubt loves me. Doubt leads to discouragement. 

I want to give up.
Live normal.
Love easy.
Be a slave to society.

I can't survive that way for too long though. I'll be depressed. 

I'm already depressed. But then I'll be stressed and depressed. 

I want to give up. 


Who am i kidding? I can't give up. I'm too determined. 

Shut up and accept it then Ricky. Time to keep fighting.