This was new to me.
I didn't know how to deal with it.
I got lost in the emotion. I searched for a way out. I got even deeper into the darkness.
Sometimes I felt like I was heading in the right direction only to find a dead end.
I heard all the advice....
"DO WHAT YOU LOVE!"
"WORK ON YOU"
"BECOME A BETTER RICKY"
I heard you. I listened to all of you. I tried everything everyone said. Nothing worked. I kept finding dead ends. I even ended back to the beginning.
Then I remembered.
The one time I almost felt something like this. Just the initial stages. I remembered how I fixed it.
I stopped crawling along the edge trying to find the exit. I closed my eyes and I
I didn't try to fight the feelings. I didn't just let the pain hurt. I let it consume me.
Falling through the dark ugly emotions. I felt it all.
Everything I felt all hitting me at once with no mercy. I took it. I embraced it.
It became too much. I reached for the edge. I couldn't stop myself.
I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!
Out of nowhere
I hit the ground.
I hit so hard I bounced
I just lay there. This is it. It can't get any more worse than this. Then out of nowhere the pressure got stronger. The ground below me started to crack. I couldn't breathe. They were trying to push me below rock bottom. I place that shouldn't exist.